


Three Villians Send a Queen a Gift

by Brokensoul



Series: Three villains [4]
Category: Eragon - Fandom, Labyrinth, Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: Birthday, Cheating at Cards, Dancing prince, Gen, Ridiculous, posh pig, prank
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brokensoul/pseuds/Brokensoul
Summary: The three Villians decide to send Queen Regina a gift for her birthday. Here you go, Memorycrow!





	Three Villians Send a Queen a Gift

Rumple casually conjured a Queen of spades and added it to his hand to make a full house, tossing another handful of gold carelessly onto the polished table. Smirking, he slanted a sly look at the demon to his side. As usual he was full of cackling mania. He held his cards with one black nailed hand while the other gestured extravagantly.

“Your turn, dragon breath.” 

Durza, seeing Rumple’s smug look, inclined his head, fiery hair tumbling down to hide a dark smile. He threw some blackened coins to the table’s center, whispering a word that changed the faces of two of his cards. His long slim legs stretched out in front of him, clad in black leather and ass kicker boots. A smell of burnt stone and drought-struck prairies clung to him. 

“You won’t beat this hand, you scrotal lesion.” 

Jareth raised his eyebrows, looking down his finely sculpted nose at his hand, laying a long pale finger to his lip. His lip was pushed up slightly, showing sharp white teeth. Everything about the goblin king was sharp, his teeth, his bones, his conceited glance. He was a stylish zombie, a haughty cold ghoul from deep under the earth. There was no human warmth there. 

The three friends had started a regular poker night. Of course they all cheated like crazy and they all knew it; it was an expected and quite necessary part of the game. A game of anything hardly counted as an amusement at all unless deception, trickery, and taking unfair advantage were heavily involved. Really, why bother otherwise? How dull. 

“Rumple,” drawled Durza, slightly interested, pushing a card back up where it was slipping from his tunic sleeve, “why has a pig arrived?”

Rumplestitlskin looked up, tapping his new hand of five aces lightly against the table. One of the aces was from a house that didn’t exist.

“Oh, that’s Mr. Hambottom, don’t mind him.” Rumple flipped a hand, as if, it’s nothing. 

The pig glared at Durza through its monocle, disapprovingly. It was shiny black and healthy, with a red patterned waistcoat and well brushed top hat. Very posh, for a pig. The animal had a watch chain clipped to its garment, and Durza idly wondered how it managed a pocketwatch with its hooves. 

“A pig.” Jareth rolled his bi colored eyes. “Really, Rumple. In the castle? “ The king’s soft voice was amused. 

“Oh, please,” said Mr. Hambottom, “as if you don’t have chickens running about all over yours. Clucking and gossiping and carrying on. Leaving eggs everywhere! Feathered chattering busybodies!” He grunted his opinion of the peasant poultry. “Absolutely absurd. Shocking, really.”

Mr. Hambottom turned his piggy bottom toward them in disgust and trotted daintily on his hoof tips to a cozy pet bed in the corner, promptly heaving his bulk over and leaving only his elegant snout showing over the velvet cushions.

“Well!” huffed Jareth, oddly offended to be told off by the porcine dandy.

“Indeed.” Intoned Rumple.

Pulling a card from his teased hair, Jareth sighed. “Are we going to play cards or what, Imp? I believe I have the winning hand.”

Just as Rumple opened his mouth to offer a pointed remark, the large heavy door to the hall burst open, slamming rudely into the stone wall behind it.

“Rumplestiltskin!” A voice boomed.


End file.
